It's so sad that I've neglected my Blog lately. I was getting so good at updating it regularly, there for a while. But life gets hectic and time flys by and here I am nearly a month and a half later... all be it, 2:30 in the am. Which of course, I'm not happy about. But I can't sleep, so I might as well.
As many of you know, Steve and I have each embarked on new career journeys recently. I'm having a difficult time with my flexing schedule. I'm doing graveyards at the moment and it is just as hard as I was afraid it would be. I am having a very difficult time adjusting regular life on my days off with working life on my days on. I'm all over the place with my sleeping patterns. I like the job a lot, but I'm terribly nervous about having to work a graveyard shift and living my life like this for an extended period of time. In some ways the schedule is perfect and allows for lots of time as a family throughout the week... but I'm not sure if the trade off on my "days off" is worth it. Pleeeaasse Lord, don't let me get a permanent graveyard shift.
Steve's job is going well. He really likes it and is traveling a bit. Thank God for the kindness of my family who has been more than willing to step in when we need help with Sean, or even sleep over on nights that I'm working. It really does take a village.
Sean is doing GREAT. Words can not express how much I love this little man. He is so affectionate and kind. He is the best darn morning snuggler in the world. He is learning and changing every day. I'm truly amazed with the things he says and does, and behaviors he exhibits. Becoming a mother and parent to this young man is the best thing in the world. Steve would agree. He just rocks our world, and brings so much joy. Lucky for me, I'm raising him with an amazing husband and daddy.
This brings me to the next thing that's been consuming my mind lately. To have another, or stop at one. It was never a consideration of mine to have only one child... but I have to say, I'm really beginning to lean that way. I'm so torn. On one hand.. I am NOT looking forward to possibly going back down that emotional roller coaster of hormones. I am not looking forward to another huge weight gain, after I just finally started feeling really good about myself again. I don't know how I feel about starting at infant again. What I DO know, is that I LOVED having a sibling (although not ALWAYS... but most of the time). I believe that you have a bond that is like no other with a brother or sister. I know that not all children end up liking each other like my sister and I do... but none the less, I'd put my money on the loving bond. The other thing I know is that if we're gonna have another... then we need to get going, because I'm not having one at 40 or with a 4-5 year gap. UGHHHH So, we're kinda at that point where we (maybe just "I") need to make up our/my mind.
Life.... it's crazy, huh?
